Questions I hate to ask.

Dear Sweet Girl,

Normally, I have very little issue asking people direct and inappropriate questions. I’ve asked people about money, sex, ex’s, tons of things I shouldn’t. If someone tells me that I shouldn’t ask that, I’m totally fine with that. If people tell me that I shouldn’t bring up something to their husband/wife/friend, I’ll generally abide. But I’m more or less ok putting people on the spot, as long as it’s not cruel or hurtful. For the most part, I think that as adults who so easily hide behind our blogs, and Facebook and Twitter accounts, we have lost the fine art of question dodging. Politicians still tend to do it well, but they speak more publicly than you and I.

Aw, isn't that precious?

Aw, isn’t that precious?

Which brings me to a question that I hesitate to ask. It’s not that I don’t want to know the answer, because I do. It’s just that I absolutely despise having to ask it. I never thought in my life that this would be an issue, yet it is. I’m trying to craft it in my head so I don’t scare people off, and make you into a kid who can’t do what other kids can, but it jumbles up on me all the time. How do you politely ask other parents “Do you have firearms in your home, and are they loaded? And where are they stored?” without sounding accusatory?

Baby, if you look at 2008 and 2009 and how many kids were killed by guns, you could fill up 229 classrooms. That’s 5,740 children. From that same year, the number of preschoolers killed by guns was double the amount of law enforcement those years killed by guns. If you want to look at how many were injured? 34,387*. I just can’t bring myself to be ok with you playing around these things.

We live in Texas. Texans, democrat and republican alike, love their guns. You play in homes where people have firearms. I know these people and have had conversations about it, and I trust them with you. But how do I deal with a new friend? A play date? A parent I don’t really know? I’m scared of this, because I hate it. I hate the guns, and I think they should be banned for civilians, and I don’t believe that the 2nd amendment is a good amendment. And I hate that people say “It’s our right! It’s in the constitution!” when they know damn well that so was prohibition and so was the three-fifths compromise and it’s just not always right. Because of this. And this. And this. And this. And this. And this. And this. And this. And this. And this. And this. And this. And this. And the other 700+ more since Sandy Hook that I don’t have the heart to even read. This is a great/terrible tool if you want to see for yourself.

So what do I do, love? How do I ask this question? Right now, I have to mull this one over. I’m working on it.



*All stats taken from The Children’s Defense Fund.


5 thoughts on “Questions I hate to ask.

  1. “*All stats taken from The Children’s Defense Fund.”

    Yes, and they count 15-21 year old drug dealing gang bangers as “kids” which is how they get those numbers. According to the CDC the number of actual children (younger than 15) killed by guns has been declining.


    • So…15 year olds shouldn’t be counted as kids in gun-related deaths because of their lifestyle? Interesting.

      Also, the CDC wasn’t able to do accurate research for years. The NRA sponsored legislation stating “None of the funds made available for injury prevention and control at the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention may be used to advocate or promote gun control.” You can read more about that here.

      For the actual CDC report, you can read that here.

      • It is true that the NRA supported legislation to keep the CDC from funding politically motivated research on gun control as a public health issue. The CDC and New England Journal of Medicine (NEJM) have both displayed an appalling lack of integrity in regards to gun control research.

        Consider this – if you are a doctor and want to publish a paper in the NEJM in regards to, for example, your research on flu vaccines you must submit your methods and data for critical peer review. If you don’t they won’t consider it science and they won’t publish it.

        However in recent times the NEJM has made one exception to the above rule – research on gun control. Dr. Hemenway of Harvard and his colleagues of late have published a lot of “research” on public health issues and guns, and have not been forthcoming with their data. That is not real science.

        However, getting back to the CDC, that does not reflect on their data on statistics of the causes of death in the U.S. In fact both CDC and FBI data show a large decrease in crime and homicides (including guns) since the 1990s when it peaked. We are at rates today that are approaching historic lows not seen since I was a kid in the 1960s.

        Here is something from the CDC you might find interesting:

        First Reports Evaluating the Effectiveness of Strategies for Preventing Violence: Firearms Laws

        “The Task Force found insufficient evidence to determine the effectiveness of any of the firearms laws or combinations of laws reviewed on violent outcomes.”

        “So…15 year olds shouldn’t be counted as kids in gun-related deaths because of their lifestyle? ”

        Didn’t say anything like that. What I am saying is that they have used an expanded definition of “children” to includes teens and young adults. When you say “child” to most people they will think you mean fairly young people, typically below what is considered the age of responsibility and often before puberty (one dictionary definition).

        For example from Wikipedia:

        Biologically, a child (plural: children) is a human between the stages of birth and puberty.[1][2] The legal definition of child generally refers to a minor, otherwise known as a person younger than the age of majority.[1]

        Legally 16 tends to be the dividing line. A Jewish boy has his Bar Mitzvah at 13 because in Judaism that is the point beyond which he is considered a man fully responsible for his own moral actions.

        My point was simply this – if you define “child” upwards of 21 as some of these anti-gun groups do, then you can include a lot of deaths of teenage gang bangers and drug dealers in our inner cities. In fact a very large percentage of homicides are due to this specific demographic.

        Consider this. The latest homicide rates for the U.S. as a whole is 4.7 per 100,000. Now consider what the numbers from largely inner city violence does to that number. Here are the numbers from some cities:

        New Orleans 62.1
        Detroit 35.9
        Baltimore 29.7
        Newark 25.4
        Miami 23.7
        Washington D.C. 19.0
        Atlanta 17.2
        Cleveland 17.4
        Buffalo 16.5
        Houston 12.9
        Chicago 11.6

        The really important point to understand is that we do have a huge problem with gun violence in the U.S. However it is very much centered in a certain place and among certain people and it is the underlying social problems that need to be fixed.

        To be fixated on guns as _the_ problem is to be totally blind to the real problems (largely caused by social programs beginning with “The Great Society” idea of Pres. Johnson which have acted to destroy the black family in our cities).

        So go ahead and use these deceptive stats that include 21 year old drug dealers as kids. Maybe that makes you feel righteous. But people who do that, and fail to look at real problems, are a large part of the problem. You are not part of the solution, as they used to say, so you are part of the problem. 🙂 (note smiley – don’t take it as a personal accusation, it is just a play on words from an old 60s liberal thing they used to say)



    • Wait – you’re linking to a blog? That doesn’t really make it true. All of the links are ambiguous, and don’t actually link to data (proven or otherwise). And it finishes up with a link to the NRA. Lolz.

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